Southwest High School Graduating Classes of 1989 to 2003 Meet Me At Williams Pub on The Wednesday Before Thanksgiving!

I am going to be home for Thanksgiving weekend and sure as fuck will be getting drunk like every Wednesday-before-Thanksgiving at William’s Pub in Uptown. I will be wearing my ’99 purple and white letter jacket with Masur written in script on the back and multiple letters and bars emblazoned on the leather arms. Lakers, I am going to see you across the bar and say something to the effect of, “Hey, Johnson! You crazy son-of-a-bitch! How the hell are ya? It’s me! (Pointing with thumbs to name on my back). Masur! What the fuck have you been up to?” We will talk about how I work for a law firm in Chicago and how you are a grad student or work in sales. One of us will note that it is a fucking high school reunion in here.

If I see one of my older brothers’ friends (Class of ’90 or ’92) I will be like, “Hey! I’m Masur’s younger brother!” You might ask where that asshole is and probably act all pissed off when I tell you that he won’t be in town this year. It might get weird when you start getting drunk and make it obvious that you have no recollection of either of my brothers.

I am going to keep my eyes out for my friends’ younger siblings. I expect that they will be very happy to see me because I have been known to crack them up. When I see them I will put them in a headlock until they guess who I am. I will insist on buying them and their friends a round of shots because I have a job and they are poor college students. This will lead to me talking about the time when I was a senior when I bought them booze with my fake ID while they uncomfortably waited outside of Humm’s liquor. I will saddle up next to their female friends and ask one if she remembers me from High School. Surely, I will ask for a ride back to my parents’ house from her for I will be too drunk to ride my bike home and will make one last desperate attempt at getting some action.

So, when you are getting ham-boned at William’s Pub in Uptown on Wednesday night and you see someone that looks sorta like that guy Masur from high school, go and say what’s up. We both have grown up a lot, but I am sure it will be just like old times, except now we won’t have to run from the cops!